Tuesday, December 09, 2008

BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II - US Ranked 4th

Breaking News!

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Greece, Belgium, Czechoslovakia and the Netherlands, plus Austria (by forfeit). Their only losses came against the US, England and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. Italy’s forfeit was negligible, as Italy was ranked 117 of 118 anyway.

The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

The German Chancellor said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces," said the Chancellor.

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented "France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, China, Burma, Malaysia, Borneo and the Philippines.

2 comments:

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Joe said...

If the US had spent more IPCs, it could have trumped the BCS standings by acquiring the nuclear weapon called "anti-trust law" or the Sherman Antitrust Act...heh heh